Snap.

Warnings include: transphobia, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, rape, religious trauma, detailed gore, and probably more.

This is part of Jias Berkley's background. And loosely based off of my trauma. Read at your own risk.

Jias had been sitting in his bedroom, writing about his day and how "normal" it was. A dirty, disgusting, rotting room it was. The floor was dirty. Garbage, and shit was scattered everywhere. Crusty old underwear was badly shoved under the bed alongside his notebooks and empty pencil sharpeners. As he wrote in his scratchy and nearly illegible handwriting, his already broken door was slammed open, revealing an outraged humanoid shape.

"What the fuck is this, child?" The thing who gave birth to him screamed, dangling a dirty scrap of paper in front of his face. It's putrid stench filled Jias's nostrils, making him nauseous. His stomach dropped, knowing immediately what was on that paper and what was coming because of its discovery. 

It was like a tradition. Even if he didn't do anything inherently bad, his supposed parental figures would beat him if it annoyed them even if a little, often to the point of passing out due to blood loss. If he ever expressed anything that didn't fit the ideals of the creatures that "care" for him, they both had different ways on how to beat it into him. The one who gave birth to him would beat and scream at him. The other would, well, defile him with it's "friends".

"How many times do I have to fucking tell you, you stupid retarded fucker, to stop writing such demonic and unchristian like things?" The thing shouted, shaking with rage. It grabbed Jias's long greasy black matted hair and pulled him towards the kitchen. It shoved him into a nearly broken and dirty seat, and slammed the paper right in front of him, the harshness of the slam causing him to flinch involuntarily.

"Read it out loud. Now. Or have you lost your ability to read already, you useless fucking retard?" It barked at him, slamming a fist onto the table, making the table creak. Jias stared at the paper. He knew he would need to read it out loud. He would be beaten until he fainted again.

"I wish I wasn't a girl. I don't see myself as a girl." Jias read out loud, his voice quiet but strong. The supposed mother glared at him, hatred pouring out of its pores, and all of it reeked of disgust towards his mere existence.

It took a deep shaky breath. "I've tried so hard, to exorcise the demons corrupting you. To stop the brainwashing that was destroying the beautiful and pure girl that I birthed. But I realize now, you weren't corrupted by a demon. You are the demon. You are the evil. You are not and never were a child of God. And certainly not a child of mine." It said, its voice calm but Jias knew better then to trust it. It was fake. It always was. It always meant that he was going to be hit.

And it was quick. It hurt. But that was nothing new. And at that moment, he felt something snap. He felt like the cage around him for the past 16 years was finally falling apart. At that moment, he was able to fully accept who he was. Who he was becoming because of these monsters.

"You are no daughter of mine. When I realized you were a demon, I should've thrown you into the streets so you could be with the rest of your kind. The worthless, ugly, homeless prostitutes that worship the sin of Satan. You would fit right in. You can get raped and drugged with the rest of them" The thing hissed. Its voice was starting to drift away. 

Jias felt free. He could barely remember what happened. All he could think of how much he was free. He was free to be himself. He was happy. He felt nothing and everything. He felt like he was flying.

"I have done so much for you, I gave you a home to live in, I feed you, I give you clothes to wear. I give you what God wants for you, and yet you throw it all away to worship the devil. You really are selfish." It said. It slapped Jias again on the head.

He stared at his supposed mother and got up from his chair. He couldn't hear it anymore. All he heard was silence. All he knew was that he finally achieved freedom. He could finally experience what it was like not to be afraid to do what he was dreaming of doing for years.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing, Jane?" It said, surprised that he was moving without permission. Jias didn't answer. He didn't even recognize that name anymore. Who was Jane again? Wasn't Jane left back in Moose Jaw? Jane died from being waterboarded, Jias thought.

His eyes moved towards the kitchen. He walked to where the knives where. They were just hanging on the wall, held up by magnets. They were rather easy to access. And they were sharp. He of all people should know that. They were used on him more times than he had been given the opportunity to wash himself.

"Hey—"

Jias gently plucked a knife off the magnet and turned around towards to the thing. He walked towards it, and without hesitation, stabbed it. He felt a sense of relief come over him. No remorse. Just relief. He stabbed again. It was just a bug. Just an ant. He stabbed again. An inconvenience. He was finally free from it. He stabbed again. He couldn't hear the bloodcurdling screams. He only saw the light. He stabbed again. He didn't even look at where he was stabbing. He just needed to shut the monster up.

Jias didn't feel like he was in his body as he stabbed. He couldn't even see what he was doing. He was too busy basking in the unknown feeling of what he called relief. He didn't care that he was killing something. It couldn't be called a human. It shared no similarities to what a human was supposed to be. It was only an irrelevant bug anyways. He finally felt free from his sin, so why would he care about some little ant.

Running footsteps coming from the hall made Jias come back to his body.

"My lord and saviour, Jesus, what are you doing, you retarded piece of shit? Oh my G—"

Jias turned and registered the voice. The monster of monsters. The reincarnation of the devil himself. The cause of everything. The one who defiled and destroyed his purity.

The impurity looked at Jias, it's face burning with rage and hatred.

"You really are a fucking disappointment." It spat. The man — if you could even call him a man — was shaking. Not with fear, but with unbridled rage. Jias wasn't surprised. He grew up with this impurity. He was supposed to be a father figure. Never ended up acting like one.

"I really don't understand why you are so surprised." Jias responded, his voice calm. He walked up to the being, still holding the knife. He hadn't realized it, but he was covered in grizzly pieces of flesh and thick, wet blood. His face showed nothing as he walked towards the impurity. He couldn't feel anything at the moment. His mind was focused on one thing.

"NO! FUCK OFF!" The impurity screamed at Jias. "DON'T GO NEAR ME, YOU DEMON!" It attempted to back away, but the floor was so covered in trash and rotten food, that it tripped and fell.

Jias walked closer to it. "I hope you enjoy Hell. Surely you and your friends would love raping and sexually torturing kids down there." He hissed in the impurity's ear. He then stabbed into its crotch, through the underwear and cut the tip of its penis off, causing the impurity to scream and shake. It tried to fight Jias off, but in response, Jias sawed its hands off.

Jias continued to cut off bits and pieces of his penis, effectively castrating the thing who was supposed to be his father. He then went to stab its chest, and stomach. He needed it to feel pain. For it to feel a fraction of what shit he had to deal with for 16 years. This was the only kill that would give him gratification. The impurity deserved it. He stabbed and stabbed, not hearing the pleas and screams coming from the mouth of the impurity.

By the time Jias finally stopped, the impurity had been long dead. For how long? No one will ever know. Jias stood up, and tried to dust off the bits of flesh still on him. He was in the hallway, drenched in blood and gore with a blood covered knife in hand. He felt himself get lightheaded and started to wobble. He made the mistake of glancing down, seeing the mutilated parts if what he thought was a heart. He felt bile rise in his throat. 

He stumbled his way towards the kitchen, his nose finally working again. A horrific stench was coming from the eating area. It was the body of his supposed "mother" — although he couldn't even recognize it — and pieces of flesh that were scattered everywhere, from the front door to the porch. The smell nearly made him pass out, but he forced himself to stay awake. He needed to escape.

Jias was free from the torment of what was his life, but he wasn't free from the law. He knew at that moment, he would be running until he died. That thought made him nearly want to slam that knife into his throat. But death meant sharing Hell with the shit he just killed and with that, he immediately discarded that thought.

He stumbled to his room and start to pack what little he had. He needed to leave. Before the cops were called. He knew the so called justice system wouldn't understand. They never did anything to help him, so why would he trust the system that failed him?

Jias needed to run. Maybe Aso would take him in. Oh my god. Aso. That blue haired wild boy. Oh, how he missed Aso. It had been years but he still loved him. He didn't care that Aso was 4 years older than him. Jias felt older and mature. The impurity and its friends always told him that he was mature. Surely, Aso would love him.

And with that, he ran. All he had to his name was a backpack on his back and the hope of seeing Aso once more again. Aso would now take control of Jias's thoughts and feelings going forth and that would be the only thing keeping him from suicide. It would be a long journey from New York to Saskatoon. But he was willing to make it. He needed to make it.